Motherhood Comes in Many Shapes and Sizes

Like all relationships, motherhood can take on different shapes and forms.

Because of this, sometimes there can be pain attached to Mother’s Day. We want every woman to feel celebrated this week – so we’ve chatted with some of the women in the Hope 103.2 family, to hear what Mother’s Day means to them – and how they find hope, when holidays bring up painful memories and emotions.

Women around us are fulfilling the world’s need for mothering. It may not always look the same, but that’s the beauty of the diversity of womanhood!

We’ve spoken to mums, women who missed out on being a mum, mothers in law, step mums, grandmothers, aunties and daughters, all of whom make a significant contribution to the world around them, and who deserve being celebrated this Mother’s Day.

Sarah: “As a single parent, holidays come with a tinge of sadness.”

Hope News journalist Sarah Wiedersehn is raising two boys on her own.

“As a single parent, holidays and Mother’s Day do come with a tinge of sadness,” she said.

“It’s a type of grief that kind of just creeps up on you.

“However, I have been blessed to have a loving mum and sister who always made me feel spoilt when my two boys were very young.

“I find hope in just enjoying the time I have with my children and watching them grow into the amazing young men they are.”

Motherhood is something Sarah treasures, despite its challenges.

“I love being a mum,” she said.

“It brings me so much joy.

“It can be challenging – however it is such an honour to walk alongside your children as they grow and mature.

“I view motherhood as a calling and a blessing.

“It also teaches you a lot about yourself.”

“I find hope in watching them grow into the amazing young men they are.”

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

Do not let them see your shock, outrage or disappointment when they first come to you in a moment of vulnerability and share with you a mistake or poor choice they have made.

The discipline, if needed, will eventually follow but its critical they can feel they can come to you no matter what.

It’s important to keep the lines of communication always open.

Kate: “After being told I was infertile, three boys was beyond what I ever imagined.”

For Kate Ryan from Focus on the Family, Mother’s Day is a beautiful reminder that though life’s journey isn’t always easy, she has been blessed.

“After being told early on that I was infertile, having three healthy boys was beyond all that I could have imagined,” she said.

“Being a mum is the greatest gift God has ever given me, apart from Jesus and [husband] Brett, of course.

“None of us are immune to disappointment or relationship breakdown.

“Across the landscape of a family’s life span we are all likely to face some kind of angst, ranging from differences of opinion to alienation – but there is complete hope in Jesus.

“He is near to the broken-hearted and His mercies are new every morning.

“I hold on to the fact that God loves my children more than I ever will and He holds them in His hand.

“My job is to pray, love unconditionally, and trust that He has a plan and a purpose.”

“We are all likely to face some kind of angst, but there is complete hope in Jesus.”

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

I have watched my mum live a life that is totally devoted to knowing and growing in God.

I have seen her stand firm in storms that would have absolutely destroyed others, and when asked how she could forgive, in the face of such pain, she said, ‘Jesus revealed to me that my sin was just as reviling to the Father and that he has forgiven me.

To not forgive would be folly, when I have been forgiven much.’ And so she made the choice to forgive even when her emotions cried out to do otherwise.

Bel: “It’s a chance to reflect on the type of mother that I want to be.”

For 96Five’s Bel, Mother’s Day will be a special opportunity to celebrate her mum who has been doing it tough for the past 12 months.

“She has shown such strength and it will be nice to celebrate all she is as an individual and as a mum,” she said.

“As someone who isn’t a mum yet, Mother’s Day gives me a chance to reflect on the type of mother that I want to be.

“Having not grown up in a Christian household, it is easy to worry about knowing how to mother in a Christ-honouring way, having not had that example growing up.

“It brings me so much hope to know that God has drawn a line in the sand and that my future children will not have the same worry.

“Motherhood, to me, is a divine calling and a sacred responsibility.

“It’s more than just giving birth or raising children; it’s about nurturing, guiding, and embodying God’s love and grace in every aspect of life.

“A mother’s role mirrors the compassionate and nurturing nature of God Himself, who cares for His children with unwavering love and tenderness.

“In motherhood, there’s a unique opportunity to participate in God’s work of creation, shaping the lives of future generations and instilling in them values that reflect His character.

“It’s a journey of sacrifice, selflessness, and boundless love, reflecting the very essence of God’s love for humanity.”

“A mother’s role mirrors the compassionate and nurturing nature of God Himself.”

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

God created you to be YOU, don’t live a life of comparison… live a life of finding out who God says you are and do everything that you can to be that person.

Janet: “Being a mum is incredibly complex and challenging.”

As co-host of the She Wasn’t Born Yesterday podcast, Janet Evans hears many peoples’ stories.

“This year I’ve heard from several friends that they were treated very badly by their mums as kids, which came as a shock to me,” she said.

“But then as I write this, we’ve heard about the heroic act of the mum stabbed in the Bondi Junction murders, who handed her baby to someone, to help save that baby’s life.

“So I feel that being a mum is incredibly complex, challenging, all-encompassing and sometimes, brings out the very worst and the very best in women!”

And on holidays which may be difficult, Janet says she turns to the Scriptures “which show God’s unconditional love for us in sending his son Jesus.”

“At its very best, a mum’s unconditional love for her children is a reflection of that great love,” she said.

For Janet, being a mother means “Nurturing children to know the immense love God has for them and encouraging them to take all of life’s opportunities and be the best people they can be.”

“At its very best, a mum’s unconditional love for her children is a reflection of [God’s] great love,”

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

Don’t wash your hair in hot water – and always wear nice undies in case you get run over by a bus!

Tania: “My inability to have a child is because the right man never came along.”

Rev. Dr Tania Harris of God Conversations is an author, minister and speaker. As someone who grew up planning her childrens’ names (four – maybe five kids) and had no ‘back up plan’, other than getting married and being a mother, Tania grapples with her ‘social infertility’ and the fact that, in her words, “Now I will never have a child of my own.”

“When what seems the most natural thing in the world is denied us, it’s shocking,” she said.

“It feels deeply unjust – almost deviant.

“My inability to have a child comes under a different label.

“The type of barrenness I’ve experienced came because the right man never came along at the right time.”

Tania says that the moment she first heard the phrase ‘social infertility’, it filled her with a profound sense of relief.

“There may not have been an easy cure for the condition I was suffering, but at least there was a label – something that gave it the gravitas it deserved,” she said.

“Some of my friends are childless and perfectly okay with it – I’m not one of them.

“Don’t get me wrong; I love my life.

“God has blessed me incredibly and I don’t regret any one of my choices – but the pain is real and it never goes away.

“I know I will carry it with me for the rest of my life.”

“God has blessed me incredibly and I don’t regret any one of my choices – but the pain is real and it never goes away.”

When it comes to social infertility, what advice can you give?

As the church we’re called to carry each other’s burdens and, in this way, fulfil the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).

To bear them of course, we must first recognise them.

For many, the pain of being unable to bear a child due to the absence of a partner is felt just as deeply as those who are physically unable to bear them.

Like the physically infertile woman, the socially infertile woman needs to feel the love and grace of those who care enough to understand.

She needs others to stand with her as she takes her grief to God.

Read more about Tania’s journey with social infertility here.

Gayle: “I can now think of my mum and not be in grief.”

For Gayle Hardiman, Account Manager at Hope Media, Mother’s Day reminds her of her mother Betty, lost six years ago. And the fact that over time, she is healing.

“Time has a great way of healing and I can now think of my dear Mum and see Mother’s Day Cards with beautiful messages in them and not be in grief,” Gayle said.

“I can recall over the years the many gorgeous cards with carefully selected verses and my added words of appreciation for her… which she treasured.

“Right now, I am in The Sydney Adventist Hospital having had surgery and whilst here I have been in a very reflective mood, as six years ago my beautiful mother, Betty Victoria Tyas at the age of 96 was at this same hospital, fighting to come home to us.”

Gayle has many fond memories of her mother.

“I recount her constant love, prayers for each of us, her daily living example of a woman with a heart for God and her family,” she recalled.

“Mum was my greatest friend and I miss her presence in my life every day.”

As well as a loving daughter, Gayle is a mother and grandmother.

“I dearly love my grandchildren and as I interact with them, I share many of the precious truths for living life that my own mum showed, plus of course my own.”

“I recount her daily living example of a woman with a heart for God and her family.”

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

What is important in life is not where you have come from but where you are going to.

In making a choice or a decision – Pray and ask God to show you the way!

Kim: “After 15 years I didn’t put the connection of ‘mother’ to what I’d been doing.”

Kim Wilkinson from CMAA has been a step mum for 16 years, but it wasn’t until last year that she allowed herself to think she might be included in Mother’s Day.

“I had never had the desire for motherhood,” she said.

“I can’t explain it, it was just never something that was important to me, and I remained happily single until meeting and marrying Stephen at age 37.”

With two girls from a previous marriage aged nine and five, Kim was aware that their time spent together was precious.

“They desperately wanted and needed time with their father, and so any thoughts of me being a ‘mother’ or even a ‘parent’ in the situation were very distant,” she said of the early years.

“I was the ‘support adult’ to the three of them in those limited and precious moments.”

When Stephen’s youngest daughter Kate came to live with them at age 14, Kim experienced another side to her role, diving deep into learning what was needed.

“I went to the school enrolling her in year nine saying, “Pretend like I’m a Kindergarten parent and tell me everything!”” she says.

And when Stephen’s oldest daughter Megan presented Kim with a bunch of flowers a year later on Mother’s Day, she was, in her own words, like a deer in headlights.

“I can’t even remember what I said, but I hope it was “thank you”.

“I was stunned all day, but still didn’t put the connection of ‘mother’ to what I had been doing.”

Kim says she has learned to lean on prayer heavily, especially in the lead up to events like Mother’s Day.

“Not just for myself, but for the girls and especially their Mum who must also find these celebration days bittersweet.”

Kim leans heavily on prayer, especially in the lead up to events like Mother’s Day.

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

You’ve been created with purpose and to be in relationship with others, like a family.

God will bring those ‘family members’ into your life for a reason, and you are to give them the best of you, without seeking anything in return.

The reward is in seeing them being happy and whole, simply because they are loved.

Jordana: “I like to get my step-mum something lovely and call her.”

As the host of Salt 106.5’s The Morning Wake-up, Jordana Brown will be away from her UK based mum this Mother’s Day.

“My mum lives in England, so I won’t be able to see her!” she said.

“But my step-mum lives in Australia so I like to get her something lovely and call her to say Happy Mother’s Day!

“Also, Mother’s Day in the UK is in March, so I do make sure I give my mum some love on the UK Mother’s Day.”

And while she’s grateful to have her mum, Mother’s Day is always a sad reminder of the fact that her mum lost her own mother (Jordana’s grandmother) at a very young age.

“Mother’s Day can be painful in some ways, but we have to find hope in the small things.

“We have a group family chat where we share pictures and stories of my grandmother, so we share in the grief and the love.”

Jordana isn’t a mum but is grateful to be surrounded by them.

“From what I see, Motherhood is sacrifice, love beyond all reason, and it’s stronger than anything.

“Even the pain of stepping on Lego!”

“Motherhood is sacrifice, love beyond all reason, and it’s stronger than anything.”

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

My grandmother had such a heart for Jesus, and she would always suggest if I was annoyed or angry with someone, to write it down first and let out all my feelings.

It’s a brilliantly cathartic way to express your feelings without hurting someone else’s feelings.

Also, to always write thank you cards whenever you get a present!

Steff: “Motherhood is about more than just giving birth.”

Steff Willis, host of 96five Afternoons says while Mother’s Day has crept up on her this year, she’s grateful for all the women who have taught her how to advocate for herself.

“Along with my own Mum, I’ve been taught by all the women in my world how to advocate for myself and to cherish the unique and quirky things about myself and how they are a gift, not a burden,” she said.

“Motherhood is about more than just giving birth.

“It’s the way you show up in the world and for your children, whether biological or not.”

“Motherhood is the way you show up in the world and for your children, whether biological or not.”

Heidi: “Even before I had my son, I considered myself a mother.”

For Heidi Wysman, host of Hopeful Reflections, this Mother’s Day brings a mixture of emotions.

“Though I love every bit of being a mum to my son Samuel, I found myself feeling a bit melancholic [this year],” she said.

“I lost my Mum to dementia back in July 2023 – and it’s not just me; I have friends yearning to embrace motherhood, while others are grappling with the loss of their own mums.”

“Mother’s Day used to be particularly tough; it served as a constant reminder of our stillborn daughter and my struggle with infertility for many years.

“Those were the days when my heart ached, and my arms felt empty.

“Yet, through those trials, I learned the importance of being kind to myself.

“I continued to extend compassion to all, especially to my mother during her battle with dementia.

“Witnessing her gradual decline was heartbreaking, but amidst the sadness, there were moments of pure joy—like the times we’d stroll through a garden and her face would light up with delight – or the way she would play the piano and sing when a keyboard was put in front of her.”

When Heidi’s mum was first diagnosed with dementia, she poured heart out to God, mourning the loss of the relationship. And when God spoke the words “show mercy” into her spirit, she obeyed, proactively showing her mother mercy over the next decade, embracing each moment with her mum, despite the challenges.

Heidi is a firm believer that motherhood extends beyond biological ties and recalls the ‘spiritual’ daughters she has cared for over the years.

“Even before I had my son Samuel, I considered myself a mother,” she says.

“My care for them extends far beyond mere words; it encompasses their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

“This connection, this bond of nurturing and guiding, has shaped my understanding of motherhood in profound ways.”

“Through those trials, I learned the importance of being kind to myself.”

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

My mum and dad were married for over 50 years until my dad passed away, and throughout their marriage, she never uttered a single negative word directed at him or about him.

Even after he died, she maintained this remarkable restraint.

Despite my dad’s glaring imperfections, she never spoke ill of his shortcomings.

To this day, I deeply respect her for teaching me the value of such loyalty and respect in a marriage.

Always on a mission to help, Heidi will be hosting a HOPE Women’s Gathering on the Mother’s Day weekend, Saturday 11th May.

 Jill: “It makes me feel complete.”

Jill from 96five says that most of all, she enjoys her son’s gratitude.

“While it only happens occasionally (and that’s why it is so special), every time my son tells me how much he appreciates what I do for him, how special I am, it makes my heart sing,” she said.

“These days are more special than an arbitrary date on the calendar!

“[Motherhood] is a journey that never ends and will be filled with anxiety, stress and special moments.

“It makes me feel complete and filled with love when I look at the young man Trevor and I have created and nurtured.

“Every time my son tells me how special I am, it makes my heart sing.”

What’s the best advice you’ve received from a mum?

Your integrity is so important – always guard it!

All personal images supplied. Jill, Steff and Bel’s images by CanvaPro.