Why I LOVE my Big Screen TV more than my Kids

Dont get me wrong, I love my kids, who doesn’t love their own pride and joys. Except I havent slept since 2008, both little angels know how to huff back at daddy in  disgust and walk off on me , and every room  in what was my house, is now there’s with the floors being covered in my little ponies, princess wands and play dough.

Love em, sure, but I just don’t get the daily grief from my brand new Big Screen TV like  dads do from their kids.

So here’s todays Fast 5 reasons (while I’m still in the honeymoon period of gleefully coming home from work to watch my favourite shows on all its 50inch glory) why I Love my Big Screen TV more than my kids.

• My TV doesn’t keep sneaking their jam covered hands into my pockets, stealing my wallet and emptying its contents on bottles of Hair product that cost $24 a pop. (did I mention my girls are both under 4, and their already using product). A one of payment for my TV and we were square, no more payments required.

• My TV has a volume switch, which I can control. My girls love to wake me up , early and loudly. The ability to turn down, or mute those bits in life or on the box I choose is magic.

• My TV gives me a night of variety. The groundhog like experience of Bath, Teeth , Bed, Crying, Nappy Change and then Get me a glass of water ran its course of being interesting years ago. My Big Screen throws Ice Road Truckers, then The Kardashian’s or MacGyver my way keeping me on my toes,, Its TV Roulette every night of the week.

• I can push my TV’s Buttons, it doesn’t push mine. Unlike my beautiful kids who know where daddy’s tolerance is. Theres a nice feeling of knowing when I ask my TV to go to 3D mode it will, it wont start to take its clothes off, run up and down my hallway screaming I don’t want to brush my teeth,  nude. Why do kids always get nude,  my TV keeps respectable at all times

• I can turn my TV off. As opposed to the other night at 3.15 am, when my angels wanted to daddy to read them a story, even though Daddy was spent. when I tell me TV it does whats its told,,, ahhhh the silence is deafening.

In saying all that, I tried to snuggle up with Big Screen TV  last Sunday morning for a hug, tickle and giggle but just wasnt feeling the Love in return, Lucky my Kids still love their Daddy.  Anyone for a bit of couch time in front of the Wiggles.